By: Uncle Chad

Look at all the shiny new bikes. Seems like a $6000 rig is today’s flavor of the month. I recently walked into a coffee shop at the end of a ride, and began a conversation with a 50-something. Who knows these days. She commented that cycling has become the “new golf”, as I almost chewed a hole through my lip.

As I was a golfer since I could walk, I couldn’t disagree more. (If I agreed, there wouldn’t be this column!). Golf, like cycling, is a sport that can also be played at every age. However, if you suck at golf, you’re most likely not going to get any better. “Time to face the facts my fellow divot-challenged-lawnmowers”. Cycling, however, it seems the more you train, the better you (can) get. Unfortunately, golf has priced itself right out of its’ own market! What seemed to be the attraction to golf; exclusivity, fifty grand a person initiation fees, expensive clubs, hand made putter covers, and six dollar balls, only has a shortened the shelf life of interest for the crappy hacker. Ha! Cycling is relatively free after your purchase, with minimal out of pocket maintenance afterwards.

“My husband is training to ride across Colorado!” she squeaked. “He bought a Cervelo, have you ever heard of a Cervelo?” she whined in my ear. “Of course I have”, I said as I strangled the last bit of life out of my blueberry scone, a quick windfall for the growing number of sky rats gathering around my feet. “He’s going to fly out next month and ride 100 miles a day for 2 weeks” she bragged. 1400 miles eh? I couldn’t do 100 miles 14 days in a row if there was a free Cervelo at the end of it. “I bet there’s no cell phone coverage either”, I sassed. Stone-faced, she took a sip of her latte.

Maybe cycling is the new golf! What better way is there to kill 5-6 hours in one shot, 3-6 times a week? Instead of a bar, it’s a coffee shop? Instead of new clubs, it’s a new bike. Of course you’ll need a backup bike, a time trial bike, a track bike, fixie, singlespeed, commuter, cruiser, 3 sets of wheels for each. And what’s wrong with hanging out at the coffee shop for hours on end. Believe me honey, the money will, and can be, spent. With forty the new thirty, fifty the new forty, carbon the new aluminum, Vicodin the new Valium, what better analogy to add to mix with “cycling is the new golf”?! The only consolidation I had for her was that her husband was giving up golf cause he sucked.

Till next ride….
The Cranky Mechanic